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Math jokes

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    Posted: 08/31/2010 at 06:40

While we're waiting for the new album, it might be a good time to share some of our favourite math jokes. To get it started, I'll give some really funny cartoons. I know that these jokes are old, but I still find them funny every time:

 
 

And of course...
 



Edited by Bad_Brett - 08/31/2010 at 06:45
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote barrelman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/31/2010 at 07:02
HAHA i actually laughed quite loud at the second one ...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jesse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/31/2010 at 09:42
@ Civ: thanks for posting that one...after so many years I finally know what I am: a math atheist!!!
Gotta use your brain, it's the most important part of your equipment.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/31/2010 at 16:28
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kavo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/31/2010 at 16:40
Originally posted by Alice Alice wrote:

/forum/uploads/2223/fav_shirt.JPG
 
I love this one

I like that one too. Simply because I suck at math.
Bad Religion Fan Since August 2008. Xbox Live Gamertag - BRFan94
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Robo Pilgrim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/31/2010 at 17:30
Go on take a swig of that poison and like it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Metmass Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 03:25

Originally posted by Jesse Jesse wrote:

@ Civ: thanks for posting that one...after so many years I finally know what I am: a math atheist!!!

Matheist perhaps?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Egg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 08:28
the girls = evil one blew my mind
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote smarti22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 10:10
Favorite quote from law professors: "You're in law school because you're really smart, but you're bad at math."
Angry nerd, sanctimonious minion, Juris Doctor.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jesse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 10:14
Originally posted by Metmass Metmass wrote:

Originally posted by Jesse Jesse wrote:

@ Civ: thanks for posting that one...after so many years I finally know what I am: a math atheist!!!
Matheist perhaps?
That sounds even better! :)

I'm so bad at math that I don't even get half of those jokes. :$
Gotta use your brain, it's the most important part of your equipment.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rmg512 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 10:56
Sorry, I'm a Math Major and this got me excited.

"Mathematical puns are the first sine of madness" -Johann Von Haupkoph

------------------------------------

Here's a limerick:

The Moebius strip is a pain,
When you cut it again and again,
But if you should wedge
A large disk round the edge
Then you just get a PROjective plane.

--------------------------------

Physics professor is walking across campus, runs into Math Professor.
Physics professor has been doing an experiment, and has worked out an
emphirical equation that seems to explain his data, and asks the Math
professor to look at it.

A week later, they meet again, and the Math professor says the equation
is invalid. By then, the Physics professor has used his equation to
predict the results of further experiments, and he is getting excellent
results, so he askes the Math professor to look again.

Another week goes by, and they meet once more. The Math professor tells
the Physics professor the equation does work, "But only in the trivial
case where the numbers are real and positive."

----------------------------

Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician?
A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you.

---------------------------------------------------------

A mathematician organized a raffle in which the prize was advertised as an
infinite amount of money. He sold all the tickets quickly. When the winning
ticket was drawn, and the happy winner came to claim his prize, the
mathematician explained the mode of payment: 1 dollar now, 1/2 a dollar next week, 1/3 a dollar the week after that...

-----------------------------------------------------------

Theologian: You mathematicians are blind. Don't you know man is more
than just numbers?

Mathematician: You're right! ...(prolonged pause)... man is sets!


-----------------------------------

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are staying in three
adjoining cabins at a decrepit old motel.

First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire on the bathroom vanity.
He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs it, throws it out the window,
and goes back to sleep.

Later that night the physicist smells smoke too. He wakes up and sees
that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. He says to
himself, "Hmm. How does one put out a fire? One can reduce the
temperature of the fuel below the flash point, isolate the burning
material from oxygen, or both. This could be accomplished by applying
water." So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall,
turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep.

The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the
window. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the
bedsheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. He immediately
sees that the problem reduces to one that has already been solved and
goes back to sleep.


----------------------------------

The difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician :

The Engineer walks in her office and finds her trash can on fire. She
gets the fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.

The Mathematician walks in his office and finds his trash can on fire.
He gets the fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.

The following day :

The Engineer walks in her office and finds the trash can on fire on
top of her desk. She gets the fire extinguisher and put out the fire.

The Mathematician walks in his office and finds the trash can on fire
on top of his desk. He takes the trash can and puts it on the floor.
He has reduced the problem to a previously solved state. To solve it
again would be redundant.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Robo Pilgrim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 12:50
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are watching an empty building. Two people go in and then three people leave. The physicist says, "Our initial calculations must have been wrong." The biologist says, "They must have multiplied." The mathematician smiles and says, "Actually, if one more person enters, the building will be empty again."
Go on take a swig of that poison and like it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote barrelman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 13:09

Another week goes by, and they meet once more. The Math professor tells
the Physics professor the equation does work, "But only in the trivial
case where the numbers are real and positive."


hahahah thats funny, i had a lecturer who described most things he taught as as trivial
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Marty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/01/2010 at 13:51
Here's one:    "I believe in God when 1 + 1 = 5"

Get it? See, because 1+1 are actually 2... not 5!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Metmass Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/02/2010 at 03:01
Originally posted by Marty Marty wrote:

Here's one:    "I believe in God when 1 + 1 = 5"

Get it? See, because 1+1 are actually 2... not 5!


:O Never thought about it this way...

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rmg512 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/02/2010 at 09:43
Originally posted by Marty Marty wrote:

Here's one:    "I believe in God when 1 + 1 = 5"

Get it? See, because 1+1 are actually 2... not 5!


I believe that comes straight out of 1984.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bad_Brett Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/02/2010 at 13:00

Some really good math jokes here! Keep ¨'em coming! :D

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bad_Brett Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/02/2010 at 13:04
Found a really funny one:
 
Q: How is a PhD student in Theology like the Laplacian operator?
A: div grad
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rmg512 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/02/2010 at 15:43
I saw that one, but I didn't understand it since I'm not far along enough to. I'm going into Calculus-based Probability and Statistics and Set Theory this coming quarter, then Topology and the second half of Linear Algebra in the winter. Pretty excited about it, though! Am I insane for it?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HugeFanOfBadReligion Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/02/2010 at 16:47
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
20 million starving, and writhing in pain: Let them eat war!
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