The Universal Cynic

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Details

Written by:	Greg Graffin
Released in:	1996
BPM:

Lyrics

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Catch a shooting star and put it in your pocket
Then your pants will start on fire
One bird in the hand, or two birds in the bush
Neither do you any good, when you're stuck in the quagmire

Show everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth
Then you can be known as the universal cynic too

Benefit your fellow man with good deeds for the day
And you'll serve your life away
Pennies saved today are pennies still tomorrow
Strewn upon the desk, piled up in the paper weight

Show everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth
Then you'll be known as the universal cynic too

Wipe your opaque eyes and restore your crystal vision
Turn another cheek and exalt in your decision
A bit of exercise for the universal cynic in you

Early to bed, and early to rise
Precludes you from seeing the most brilliant starry nights
Sticks and stones can break bones, words can't really hurt
Unless you carry guns, and are hungry for a fight

Challenging the standards, or questioning the established rules
Trying to understand how they can benefit you
Showing everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth
Just a bit of exercise for the universal cynic in you;
The universal cynic in you

Versions

Version	Length	Release	Catalog ID	Country	Format	Year
Album Version (bonus track)
		The Gray Race		Japan	CD	1996
*Not specified*
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)	n/a	Malaysia	MC	2009
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)		Japan	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)		Germany	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)	EPC507628 2	Germany	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)		Turkey	MC	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)		South Korea	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)	EICP-96	Japan	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)	EDCI 80030	Japan	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)	2-507628	Brazil	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)	SAMP11213	Germany	CD	2002
	2:16	Punk Rock Songs (The Epic Years)		Russia	CD	2002
	2:18	No Substance	PRCD 8531B	United States	CD	1998
	2:18	No Substance		United States	CD	1998
	2:15	Punk Rock Song	DRA 662867 6	Germany	12"	1996
	2:15	Punk Rock Song	7-87079	United States	7"	1996
	2:15	Punk Rock Song	7-87079	United States	7"	1996
	2:15	Punk Rock Song	DRA 662867 2	Germany	CD	1996
	2:15	Punk Rock Song	MATTCD026	Australia	CD	1996
	2:15	Punk Rock Song	DRA 662867 2	Israel	CD	1996

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Song interpretations (3)

F.QUADRATA Blenderhead Location: PH Status: Offline Posts: 51	Quote This song pertains to man's instinct to ask question or doubt..being cynical on something isnt totally bad at all but is an inept desire to know what is the universal truth we can all agree with.As a children we've been gullible enough to believe what our parents or elders tells us about something,or the supposed 'truths',as we age and gain knowledge and experience,we must shrug our child-like credulity and embrace what is logical and sound.Unfortunately many grown adults still retains theirs'..Graffin is simply giving us hints on showing others a healthy cynicism and questioning authority which has always been to me a foremost punk ethic. 07/14/2009 at 02:37 This song pertains to man's instinct to ask question or doubt..being cynical on something isnt totally bad at all but is an inept desire to know what is the universal truth we can all agree with.As a children we've been gullible enough to believe what our parents or elders tells us about something,or the supposed 'truths',as we age and gain knowledge and experience,we must shrug our child-like credulity and embrace what is logical and sound.Unfortunately many grown adults still retains theirs'..Graffin is simply giving us hints on showing others a healthy cynicism and questioning authority which has always been to me a foremost punk ethic.
Eric Student Guest Location: Global Citizen	Quote This is great song for anyone who loves to analyze problems, or look at the realistic side of things. What Greg is saying here, is that if you look at any historically held idea, and see it through a cynics eyes, you'll see just how absurd it really is. Of course putting a shooting star in your pants will cause them to burst into flames. I think he wants to convey the message that, while people might view you as a total pessimist and skeptic, at least you'll be able to say you can think for yourself and realize that a lot of the conclussions people have come to over the years, regarding anything, are ridiculous. 10/27/2004 at 01:51 This is great song for anyone who loves to analyze problems, or look at the realistic side of things. What Greg is saying here, is that if you look at any historically held idea, and see it through a cynics eyes, you'll see just how absurd it really is. Of course putting a shooting star in your pants will cause them to burst into flames. I think he wants to convey the message that, while people might view you as a total pessimist and skeptic, at least you'll be able to say you can think for yourself and realize that a lot of the conclussions people have come to over the years, regarding anything, are ridiculous.
Some Guy Modern Man Voice of Flavorlessness Location: San Diego, CA Status: Offline Posts: 1626	Quote I believe I can interpret this one seeing as no one else has. This song seems to be saying that you can't always be happy go lucky, but you at least every so often have to let out your inner cynicality. Now I could be wrong but I feel this song should be interpreted. 07/17/2004 at 12:42 I believe I can interpret this one seeing as no one else has. This song seems to be saying that you can't always be happy go lucky, but you at least every so often have to let out your inner cynicality. Now I could be wrong but I feel this song should be interpreted.